Struck Down But Not Destroyed

Life’s been rough the last several months.

And yet it’s been good. My husband got into medical school (yay!); five days later we packed up our belongings and moved to a new town; three days later we flew across the country to visit family; we returned to a new home and new city, continued unpacking boxes, worked over full-time,  and traveled every weekend in between.

And somewhere within all of this excitement, my body crashed and my emotions plummeted. For a girl who is orderly and routine-driven, these changes came fast and hard. It affected me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I felt depressed, agitated, and confused. I cried everyday without reason and my body felt sick nearly all the time.

And no, I-am-not-pregnant.

It’s been a battle. And I’ve felt more like a helpless victim than a courageous fighter. The attacks came relentlessly from every direction and I’ve been unable to get up between the punches.

I know that talk of spiritual warfare can make people uncomfortable. But I’m about to go there. So if you feel uncomfortable, feel free to exit the browser now…

“Do not overestimate the power of the enemy, and do not underestimate the power of God.” -Pastor Jon Courson, Applegate Christian Fellowship

The tempter (Satan) came to Jesus after He had fasted forty days and forty nights in the wilderness. Not when He was strong and feeling capable of spiritual warfare, but when He was weakest. Friends, we must expect the same.

The attacks came in my weakest moments, masked within the chaos of life events. It wasn’t until my husband prayed over me recently that I realized what I was fighting against. It wasn’t an emotional breakdown; it wasn’t just stress; it wasn’t just change. It was demonic. It was powerful. It was persistent. And with the name of Jesus, it fled.

Friends, we are in midst of a spiritual war. The attacks extend beyond the spiritual and hit us in the physical life we live. Jesus combated Satan’s attacks with the Word of God, and that is our weapon too. So stand firmly in His Word — meditate on it and submit to it! Do not surrender to the attacks…surrender to Jesus. In His Name there is hope, and in His Word there is victory.

The battle is not over. Pray for me. And know that I am praying for you.


I was sleeping peacefully—and deeply—up in the loft of our 350 square-foot cottage. This particular night, I slept closest to the stairs and my husband slept near the wall. It must have been sometime between midnight and 4am, but in my blissfully unconscious state, I was unaware of the time.

Suddenly a BING-CRASH-SHATTER sounded from the kitchen! Someone broke through the window into our home I concluded as my eyes popped open in a panic. I saw my husband literally mid-air, jumping over me, and then watched as he landed on his feet in a crouching position with his hands out in front of him…ready to fight. Uhh…Whooa! I thought as I watched him prepare for action. Who-is-this-man-that-I-married? Bourne? Bond? It’s funny how sometimes we think we know someone so well, and then we see this completely different side of them that completely amazes us (not that I didn’t always think my husband was amazing…).

Though I am certain no thief would have survived, I am grateful that it turned out to be the knives on our kitchen shelf falling to the ground and shattering a ceramic bowl along the way (blame it on the train).

Sometimes I think I know God, like I got Him all figured out. But to think that our finite minds can comprehend such an infinite God is nothing other than naïve. This week,  I feel as though I’ve had a Whooa! Who-is-this-God-that-I-serve?! experience. As I read His Word, specifically Exodus 3-15 and Job 38-41, I am literally wowed by a God that I have yet to learn so much about.

I’m praying that we each have a Whooa! Who-is-this-God-that-I-serve?! moment this week…that we realize He is greater than we originally thought, He is mightier than our strongest moments, and He is so holy we cannot even stand in His presence apart from His grace. He is the Lord of Hosts, and He deserves our reverence.